Congratulations on totally missing the point again, although I’m a bit confused:

Of course I understand that you are overworked and frantically busy and can’t concentrate on any one issue for more than a few seconds and the template response you fill out as quickly as possible probably doesn’t leave much room for actual thought.

But until this happened I believed that to work for Google you had to have a PhD or something – you know, to be really smart.

I mean, the situation seems pretty basic to me and I’m so dumb I’m merely Mensa-qualified.

So perhaps you would like to actually read this email.

The simple version is, I am NOT an AdWORDS advertiser and yet you have suspended my AdSENSE account as if I were.You have done this on the basis of your AdWORDS policy which does not apply to me as an AdSENSE host.

I will step you through it, if you like.

1. Google’s Landing Page Policy, which you have so thoughtfully included in all your emails to me, is for ADVERTISERS who are sending visitors to “landing pages that do not comply with our Advertising Policies, including the Landing Page and Site Policies”.

2. I AM NOT AN ADWORDS ADVERTISER. (Feel free to advise me of the last time I paid for any AdWords.)

3. In my recollection I have never advertised unleashyourlife.net through AdWords on other people’s sites and if I did it would have been many years ago and completely unsatisfactory.

4. It is Google itself who, through its own algorithms, and on its own account chose to place its own AdSense advertising on the supposedly offensive site.

5. The whole purpose of this AdSense advertising was to encourage people AWAY FROM the “offending” landing page to your advertisers’ websites, AWAY from the awful affiliate links, the NOT TO THEM.

6. Notwithstanding it has found the page offensive and suspended my AdSENSE account, Google has still been happy to send advertisers to the offending page while affecting concern for an experience that is “safe and effective for our users and our advertisers”. Apparently Google is nevertheless happy that the places were it did (and does) continue to place advertising are both safe enough and effective enough to send your “users” there. But then, you’re getting the advertising real estate for free.

7. I repeat: I am NOT paying Google or anyone else to bring people to any website whatever. I am NOT “submitting pages” to anyone, least of all to Google via any paid service.

8. I am not ambushing or fooling people into coming to any of my websites with false hopes.

9. I do not believe I still even have an active AdWords account. I certainly no longer have the log-in for that.

10.  I DO, however, have an AdSENSE account which is the account you have IN FACT suspended and which has no relationship to a past AdWords account.

11. I also have
* a gmail account,
* a YouTube account and
* a googleplus account
which are similarly completely unrelated to AdWords. Is Google considering suspending all of these unrelated accounts also?

That said, you will be over the moon – and Larry, Sergey and Eric will be ever so relieved -  to learn that the website unleashyourlife.net is now fully functional and operational. You will probably hold champagne celebrations on account of it containing NO offensive links or ANY promises at all. In fact it contains NO external links whatever, whether inbound or
outbound, over which I have any control.  I have no intention, or the faintest desire whatever – as I have not had for years – to advertise this OR ANY OTHER website using AdWords. Nor do I intend ever to place any AdSense code on the site.

Thanks for your additional time.

Please pass this email up your chain of command as far as it needs to go.

Graham

We are not linking to any affiliate sites. We do not think we even have any affiliate memberships. NO, hang on, one of our accounts has one for webhosting. WE WILL NEVER TELL YOU WHAT THE HOSTING COMPANY IS, OKAY? DON’T USE THEM.

Please note that we dare not provide useful links from this site as it has got us in trouble with Golgol in the passed.

If you have come here looking for a free forum to play around with or to hijack, bad luck.

If you have come here looking for links to other useful websites, too bad. We do not link to any other sites or suggest anything that may be of use to you.

One thing is for sure, there is no advertising on this site of any kind. And never will be.

All you will find here is our own personal wisdom, which in most cases will be more than you can handle in one go.

There is nothing being given away for free here.

We are not collecting data, personal or otherwise. You cannot comment on any of our articles. Go somewhere else.

We are not looking for any links whatever from any other websites.

We are not selling anything of any kind whatever.

We are not suggesting anything of the even vaguest inappropriate nature.

Nothing at all. Iglooo does not like that. And the last people we want to offend are gloglo.

No.

Come to think of it, we don’t give a fcuk what glooge really thinks. Our lives are not driven by fear of goolge.

There you go – lesson one in unleashing yourself from other people’s pressure and manipulation.

This doco will take you places you didn’t want to go and that you didn’t even know were there!

Alan Davies only pretends to be silly.

 In my closing days in the profession I was mortified to hear that someone was a going to be “injuncted” – as in an injunction was going to be taken out against them. Doesn’t matter; if it looks or sounds right, don’t check it, just whack it in and hope for the best. No need to be “phased” by it at all. I think they all should be “scapegoated”.

That’s supposed to be what subs are for, innit? But ‘injuncted’ is a tricky one because if you correctly wrote ‘enjoined’ hardly anyone would know what on earth you were talking about so you would be failing in your duty to communicate clearly (or clearly to communicate?). The only solution would seem to be to rephrase but that uses more ink and column inches. btw, the NDL famously used regularly to have photos on the social pages of some girl and her ‘finance’ (not the same girl every time).

-  i concur!